We don’t have control over everything. We have control over how we feel, our thoughts, the actions that we take, and how we treat other people. We do not have control over how other people feel or things that happen outside of our body. Yet, we still try and control them. When you learn to let go of control we invite magic in. In this article, I will discuss why we try to control and how to release control.
Why do we try and control life?
Once you get to the root cause of the control you can release the behavior.
What point in your past did you have to crave certainty? We often associate certainty with feeling safe. Therefore, if we can control things then we feel like we will be safe.
At some point in childhood you may have felt unsafe. Think back to your childhood.
When did you feel unsafe? You may want to take out a journal and write about all the times when you felt unsafe and how else that made you feel.
If you felt a lack of safety when you were younger than you may feel a lack of trust with yourself and those around you now. The story in the past has already happened, but the story now is for yours to change.
Feeling unsafe leads to lack of trust which leads to the need to control.
If you stay in the controlled known you will get the same things, if you step into the uncontrolled unknown then you’ll invite magic in.
How can you stop controlling?
1) Ask the universe for help. Ask for signs. Ask something greater than you for help.
We are co-creators with the universe and there are some things that we absolutely cannot control, so it is necessary to ask the energy of the universe for help. Asking for help is also a way that we can surrender over our control of the situation. Gabby Bernstein discusses this a lot in her book Super Attractor.
2) Repeat mantras. Open yourself up to trusting. Every word that you speak has so much power. Here are some examples:
I am willing to learn how to trust.
I am releasing control.
I am willing to let go of control.
I am safe.
I trust the creator of everything around me.
I am willing to not be attached to the outcome.
3) Be willing to not be attached to the outcome. When you detach yourself from the outcome you open more doors. When you attach yourself to the outcome you close all of the doors of possibilities.
4) Immerse yourself in nature. Realize that everything in nature happens organically and unforced. All the processes that happen in nature are not controlled. They happen by themselves. This helps you trust in yourself.
5) Surrender and be okay with the present moment. Controlling the present moment means that you are not happy with the present moment. Meditation and breath work are great practices to use to come back to the present moment.
6) Come back to what your values and intentions are. This will allow you to let go of things outside of your integrity.
7) Associate pleasure with letting go and pain with controlling.
Think of the pain you were in when you were holding on and the pleasure of letting go. When you realize that you have previously associated pleasure with being in control you can learn to release it.
8) Become aware of the story that you tell yourself of how things “need to be done”.
9) Stop procrastinating.
Sometimes we procrastinate because we are so comfortable and safe in the present certainty that we are in, so we put off doing something new.
How can we stop trying to control others?
As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Be the change that wish to see in the world.” Lead by example. Be a model and make the changes within yourself. Others will follow.
If you found this article to be helpful please share with a friend, tag us on Instagram @Synchronicityllc, step into the unknown, and let go of control.